We all deal with our own quirks and mental illnesses, I am prone to depression and live with ADHD-I.
Over the years of dealing with Lilith I have questioned my own sanity. I have also looked for an explanation of her behavior and why she makes the choices that she does, which far too often haven't taken Seth's well being into consideration in my humble opinion. Remember, I chose this life, I chose to give up a free and unattached life to be with a man who had a child and I have always strived to do what is best for that child.
Also in my family of origin I come from a blended family with a sibling that suffered Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) at the hands of their custodial parent. I am an armchair psychologist, like Adam is an armchair quarterback yelling plays at the screen. I am fascinated with mental health and what makes our minds tick. I have read and studied but I am no professional.
Lilith has never shared if she has been diagnosed with any mental illness or personality disorders with Adam or myself. You probably are thinking that of course she wouldn't have shared that with us but with the amount and types of details that she does share with us on a normal basis we would be surprised if she didn't tell us she had a mental illness or personality disorder. There is a history of mental illness in her family that we have been made aware of by Lilith and her sibling. Lilith's sibling also believes that Lilith is at minimum bipolar, which is very possible.
It is my unprofessional opinion that Lilith may have a borderline personality.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001931/
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder/what-is-borderline-personality-disorder.shtml
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder
What this means for us is that Lilith is very emotionally unstable. She has expressed inappropriate behaviors towards Adam on more then one occasion and she is inconsistent and unreliable. I have previously shared that Lilith has a problem with substance abuse, which only exacerbates the possible underlying personality disorder.
How do we deal? Here's the thing, crazy trumps everything. You have a full house suited? Great, they are crazy and win with a joker, a 5 and a magazine subscription card. You learn that "drawing a line in the sand" means nothing. You have to choose very carefully what battles you want to fight. You allow yourself to be stepped all over so that the kid isn't affected. In our life Lilith leans toward not wanting to deal with Seth or have him at times. If you deal with someone else who leans towards never allowing the child to leave and an enmeshed emotional relationship with their child, well hopefully I will have a guest blogger who can talk about PAS more at a later date
Thank you for understanding as I played catch up these last few weeks. I have spent a lot of time in reflection and we may have another custody change in the near future as we deal with Lilith getting a restricted license and then she should have the ability to transport Seth and Lilith is telling us she has a legitimate job so those should take some stress off Adam and I.
Having Seth full time is a mixed bag. He is helpful with chores around the house and there is no denying his love of Rachel, which is a blessing for me but he also makes messes, is stubborn and doesn't pick up after himself. Nothing moves in a linear manner in this world I am in, it doesn't even move in a pattern I can recognize. It seems just about the time I have things figured out or anything Lilith flips the switch on us but that is typical of mental illness.
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