Seth and Sam have the weirdest relationship and I (of course) blame Lilith for most of this, I hate to seem like I am always harping on her but her actions really do lead to a whole load of issues for Seth that Adam and I are left dealing with while she flits around oblivious to the psychological and emotional damage we feel like she inflicts on Seth.
Lilith's dating history is pretty "colorful" if I am being generous. She has never been without a man for more then about 12 weeks to my knowledge, I am taking into account her break up with her high school boyfriend right before Adam, through her last break up after Sam and including her current boyfriend Deuce. Lilith moves quickly with her boyfriends, most of them have become her fiancées within 2 to 6 months of dating (I would love to get a look at her stockpile of engagement rings) she moves in with them quickly or allows them to move in with her. It is an ongoing cycle I have personally been witness to something like 7 times in the last 10 years. I believe that Sam is her longest relationship, lasting almost 5 years (if you don't count how she is still emotionally dependent on Adam) or the affair that she "wasn't" having during the last year of their marriage. Lilith's colorful dating history will have to be a future post.
Sam came into their relationship with two kids of his own and an ex-wife who is completely bat shit crazy and I do not use that term loosely, Lillian (seriously that is her name, Sam went from a Lillian to a Lilith) is the most undermining, PASing, vindictive, manipulative person I have ever met. She called DCFS saying that Seth was sexually abusing her son, twice. We had to enroll Seth in counseling and he was almost faced with juvenile charges but because Adam and I got involved during the second investigation and because Seth was just under the age of 7 we were able to avoid that because there was no concrete evidence, just Lillian's word against Seth's. Adam got into an argument with Lillian in the DCFS offices during one of the investigation meetings because it was obvious that she wasn't over her and Sam's divorce; Lillian had Sam and Lilith's first marriage annulled because they got married the day before her and Sam's divorce was officially stamped by the courts. Her third call to DCFS launched a full investigation and it was discovered that her brother was abusing her son but only because we had Seth for 3 weeks and we had plane tickets showing we were out of the state during the weekend in question.
Lillian was stalking Lilith for a while, I know this because we were living in the same neighborhood as Lilith and Sam and I kept seeing Lillian's car parked by my house (Lillian didn't know we were living there at the time) Lillian was parking her car and creeping around Lilith's house peeking in windows and stuff while Sam was working nights. After all the fighting, accusations and stalking Lillian had the audacity to try and befriend Adam and I during soccer, I know I am not always Lilith's biggest fan but the idea that Lillian would think I would want to chat and gossip with her after all she did to Sam, Lilith and Seth, is (much like Lillian herself) insane. I couldn't make up a character like this if I tried, if I could I would be a famous fiction writer instead of blogger writing about my real life. Did I mention Lillian is the one who split things off with Sam and was remarried during all of this? Her husband sat there passively while all this was going on, including the stalking, so I really don't know who is crazier and never wanted anything to do with either of them.
Because of Sam's PTSD and because of his personality he and I never got on very well. At first I was hoping he would be an ally in the whole step-parent, blended family thing but he and I couldn't be more opposite if we tried. He is rigid, as a lot of men and women in the armed forces are, he believes in corporal punishment, I made Adam include a paragraph in Seth's parenting plan that specified no one but himself and Lilith would ever hit Seth in any way. Sam was also a jock in high school, I wasn't, I was the girl in a General Hospital nightgown I got from the thrift store, ripped tights and Doc's with fire engine red hair. I was an art nerd, lost in books and music. My friends were the freaks, nerds and weirdos, not a lot has changed, only I am now wearing TOMS and my highlights are purple.
Sam, Lilith and I all grew up in the same hometown. Lilith is a few years younger then me but Sam and I are the same age. We didn't know each other in high school but I knew some of the people he hung out with and lets just say, we weren't friends, in fact some of them worked very hard to try to make my high school career a nightmare. Luckily for me, I am entirely too lazy to hold grudges.
Like too many veterans Sam is underemployed. He had the chance to go to college on a sports scholarship after high school but met Lillian and knocked her up. I sometimes feel fleetingly badly for him because he has made some poor choices and is now stuck with two babies mamas but his personality comes across as cocky and abrasive and I remember he made his bed and has to now lay in it.
While we never openly disagreed I often felt like Sam discarded everything I said. I also felt like he had an idea of who Adam was based on things that Lilith said to him that have no bearing on who Adam is today. Lilith doesn't seem to have an understanding that Adam is no longer the kid she once knew and that he no longer believes or is interested in the things he was when they were together. In Lilith's mind Adam has not grown up but that isn't the reality of the man I am married too, he isn't even the same person he was when we met.
During their relationship we were told a lot of things about Sam that make me cautious of him (that he is violent, unstable, abusive and an alcoholic) but since their divorce Sam and Lilith have become friendly again, Sam was instrumental in bailing Lilith out of jail when she was arrested on the DUI. I don't understand it, Lilith remains very emotionally dependent on her children's fathers and does the same thing with Adam to a level but with Sam and the history of domestic violence I have no idea why Lilith wouldn't want to have as little to do with him as possible but just the opposite, now that they are broken up she depends on him financially and emotionally even more. Lilith is even talking about putting Seth on the soccer team that Sam coaches again.
Lilith and Sam's divorce was messy and drama filled with each one of them fighting for sole physical and legal custody of Brandy. They went back and forth for months, Sam was ordered to pay a large amount in child support and shortly after the divorce and custody agreement was settled Sam and Lilith changed everything so that Sam now has 50/50, I don't know how much of this is because of Lilith's arrest, I really try to stay out of everything but I have no idea why they both fought so hard to keep the other one out of Brandy's life. In the end, she is the only one I feel bad for.
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